Saturday, August 27, 2005

The Strength of the Colony Lies in its Larvae

Anak na ngayo'y 'di mo paluin,
bukas, ikaw ang paluluhain.
(The child you will not spank today
is one who'll make you weep someday.)

-a Filipino proverb

Children. I love children! They make great firewood!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not usually nasty towards children. Heck, I wouldn't even dare frighten anonymous kids unless the situation gets really dire. Anyway, allow me to divert your attention away from those nasty little creatures for a while and introduce you to a movie I just saw.

Fangirls of Johnny Depp have probably already seen Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. To tell the truth, it is also a movie I've been waiting to see, my anticipation making my body itch. No, thank you, I'm not a Johnny Depp fangirl 'coz I think the guy's too wierd. Anyway, I really got hooked on by its movie trailers.

I'm not particularly kind to people who narrate spoiler stories to me so allow me to refuse to give the plot away, for the sake of those who may still wish to see it. Instead, let me just introduce to you five kids who star in the movie. Of course, you probably have already guessed Charlie. After all, why would the title be such if there wasn't any guy named Charlie? All kidding aside, Charlie is the main protagonist. He's a kid who is surprisingly well aware of his family's current financial situation. Very insightful, yet not too grown-up, Charlie seems to embody the perfect kid parents want their children to turn out. Unfortunately, he has a flaw: what does a kid do when he finds a stray dollar bill on the ground? Let honesty prevail? Heh, too bad, Charlie used the money to buy himself, er, something nice.

Augustus Gloop, another kid, is a very fat glutton who is well versed in the art of eating, manners or no manners. He is almost always seen munching on something, most often Willy Wonka's superb chocolate bars. His father is a buthcer while his mother stays at home and cooks. He likes to eat everything that is edible and his parents have no qualms about spoiling him. He's not a very complicated brat for his needs are simple: food.

Veruca, on the other hand, would not stop at food. It has to be good food. Most of all, it has to be something she likes. She had made it a habit to ask her loving dad to buy her what she wants. Fortunately, her father is a very rich businessman. Still, there are some things that cannot be bought with money. Love and friendship? Nah, Veruca doesn't want them. She's having a difficult time acquiring Willy Wonka's technologies, which she has taken a liking to. She is a classic example of a rich spoiled princess; what Veruca wants, Veruca gets, or else...

Violet, another female, is not too altruistic like her best friend, Veruca. She knows she had to work for what she wants. Unlike her friend, there is only one thing she wants in life: be the number one. An over-competitive brat, she joins all competitions she can, constantly emerging as the winner. Never to be outdone, she goes out of her way to seek contests and trains rigorously to prove that she is indeed the best kid in the world, in all respects.

Mike, on the other hand, would be nothing more than a couch potato, a sharp contrast to Violet's zeal and enthusiasm. However, unlike most lazy people, Mike is pretty smart. How come? Well, watching TV all the time does have certain strange effects. It seemed like Mike was a grown-up trapped in a kid's body as he constantly mumbles, according to Willy Wonka, globs of nonsense gibberish about anti-matter, space-time and teleporters.

With the possible exception of Charlie, different kids with various personalities they may be but one word is enough to describe them all: brats. Let's face it, a lot of parents would want their child to grow up healthy and free from hunger and starvation, which is why some kids end up bloated. Others want nothing less than the best for their kids so these brats end up having their own way, all the time. Some of them even go out of their way to acquire for themselves nothing but the best.

I am not saying that I am free of these flaws. The point is not to ridicule the movie or infer anything from it. The movie itself only serves to illustrate, in a hyper-exaggerated manner, the main statement: beware of kids. Unfortunately, that's life: without children, there would be no grown-ups either.

Lastly, have some words of advice. When taking public transport, avoid being seated next to kids, especially younger ones; they have flawed puke control. ^_^

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