Sunday, November 11, 2007

My Brother. Is not. A pig. Da?

Once there were two sib-plumbers
who fixed a leak in the city sewers.
Behold when they exited the pipes,
the found a world of toadstools, fireballs, blocks that go ka-ching, Koopas... and, uh, pipes?
Forgive this poor poet's faulty time;
at least, somewhere there's a rhyme.

The subject is something I usually cannot discuss comfortably with other people. It is, I suppose, a lot like sex; you just don't talk about it in public. However, I have been thinking lately that I have been enjoying something a lot of people usually don't and if, perhaps, I may be of help to those people, then what a better way than through a non-fictional article, say, a blog post?

Anyway, the topic is about siblings.

Augh! Please! No! Ergh! Blech! Urgh!

Okay, so maybe there's a lot of people out there that generally don't get along too well with their sibs. My sister's a bitch or my brother's too bothersome or the baby is such a crybaby. I definitely agree, heheh.

Grant this poor blogger some moments to bore you with the details of his sordid life: I am the eldest of four children. The next pregnancy brought a female, named "Good Sister", who happened to be so good, God took her even before she was born. Next was another female, named "Evil Sister", and Satan, in his world-embracing benevolence, allowed her to do more of his works on earth. My third sib is a male called Imp, the progeny of Loki, a satyr trickster and anathema to Evil Sister. The last one, Gaki, was also a boy, a brash, insolent brat witty enough to evade death from his three elder sibs.

Each of us are quite unique individuals. I am an offense-type spellcaster who specializes in the arcane, uh, stuff. Evil sister is a heavy-duty offense-type low-moxie apprentice well on her way to learning the kitchen arts. Imp is rather well-versed in smithing, forging, metallurgy and a lot of the baser crafts known to peons, peasants and paupers. Gaki is, well, just electrically annoying. He's a rather fuzzy energy ball and, as our mother called him, a bundle of joy. As you can see, each of us have our differences in craft and personality. Oftentimes, that's where trouble begins.

Like I said, Imp is the bane of Evil Sister's existence and he'd continue to pester her, sometimes, for no sane reason at all. Actually, we all pester each other but it so happened that Evil Sister has a very short temper, and lands rather heavy blows might I add. The crafty Master Gaki, too, cannot always evade Imp's trickery or Evil Sister's fists. Please don't ask where this humble sorcerer enters the fray.

Imp has been known to put salt in evil Sister's drinking water. I write on Imp's face while he's sleeping. Evil Sister wakes Gaki up by incessantly poking him while Gaki has this aura that usually spells disaster for me.

However, different as we may be from each other, we do tend to protect our own. We're perfectly amiable people who, only, sometimes gang up on whoever is insane enough to bully one of us. We don't openly acknowledge standing up for each other 'coz that's really cheesy and all and if, by chance, they stumble upon this blog post, I'd die of disgust. Still, as I've heard before in a movie, it's these differences that supports our colony, err, family. We know perfectly well when to fill in for the others' chores or who's responsible for what.

We also have fun together, which usually involves hurling kidou, spells, ninjutsu or genjutsu. Sometimes, we even kick each other just for the hell of it. We also have this stupid running game where we just run and startle ostentatiously every time any of us meet. When any of us points out a flaw in another, we just shrug and have a good laugh, instead of blowing a fuse (with the exception of Evil Sister, as her fuse seems to be embedded in nitroglycerine-soaked kieselguhr)

It might seem ridiculous for someone my age to be releasing Bankai or equipping a gunblade just as it is unusual to see a kid, twelve years younger than I, engaging someone twice his height in physical combat (which usually ends in death by tickle-related asphyxiation). I suppose it's all just a matter of meeting everyone halfway.

We also enjoy sharing some things. A simulation game by Maxis, The Sims, is perhaps the best example. I like 2D-scrolling games better. Evil Sister prefers the Zen of puzzle games. Imp rather enjoys strategy games while Gaki prefers mindlessly arcade games. So what brought us together in a simulation game? Is it the joy of ruining each others' families? Is it slapping the other's character? Is it in racing each other to reach level 10 in career? Or in re-furnishing our own houses every time a new nifty item has been downloaded? Why the heck are we not upgrading to The Sims 2? Why don't we even install add-ons like Livin' Large, Makin' Magic or Hot Date? Why am I writing in questions?

Seriously, I dunno... it's probably something you gotta figure out yourself... by meditation or looking at the stars or casting runes or some shit like assuming the thinking position in the loo.

So, I guess I'm not really helpful in aiding other people to relate to their sibs better. Oh well, just sit back and enjoy brewing envy or jealousy, haha!

Anyway, if it is of any help, we sometimes fart on each other, just like normal siblings do. However we don't, as a rule, sneeze on each other 'coz that's like, gross, y'know? Kinda like unforgivably disgusting.

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