Saturday, February 17, 2007

Musings of a Chronic Liar

Look deeper into my eyes
And tell me a string of lies.
Say everything is fine
and that you will be mine.

Has it ever occurred to you that someone, somewhere knows something you don't and they're having a good time at your expense?

Call it conspiracy theory or whatnot but I have always had the nagging feeling that shaving creams and/or after-shave lotions might have hair growth stimulants. If it were so, there is nothing we consumers could do about it since, after all, they never were supposed to inhibit hair growth nor did they advertise doing so. Still, it is a pretty darned smart way to ensure that their customers will keep on buying their products. To us, they are just implements to an eternal ritual against something we, as humans, have deemed inescapable: shaving. To them, they are almost a self-sustaining investment.

How about those mold and mildew cleaners? What if each droplet of acidic liquid poured onto the grout between ceramic tiles contained a certain chemical, which, when decayed, encourages more fungal growth? The companies selling these cleaners, too, did not advertise retarding mold and mildew proliferation. They were supposed to clean but not keep your tiles clean. If these indeed contained such chemicals, we'd be in a never-ending battle against fungus.

Another one I have had the luxury to experience: anti-dandruff shampoo. So long as I keep on using it, I don't get flaky scalp; it must have some strong chemicals for even its vapors sting my eyes. However, when I discontinue usage, I get a dandruff boom. Does it also have nice ingredients that decay into bad ones?

Ahh, the refined art of subterfuge. Technically, the makers of the three products never lied to us; they just happened to omit certain facts from the mass media. Given that I, too, enjoy "lying" to others, I'm beginning to wonder if any of those people might be my kin.

1 comment:

m. bacarra said...

well hair growth on the face is the same as the speed of hair growth on your head, so if you have a beard like me, you would know how fast your hair grows. anyway, aftershave lotions are supposed to close the pores after shaving (assuming that you've followed the basics of shaving). it can also have moisturizers that help, well, moisturize the skin after the, well, shaving. it is possible that they're putting something on their product to stimulate hair growth (i'd rather use stimulate than "speed up" because i don't believe that you can speed up your hair growth). would the intentions be for more flow of income, who knows. these products are optional since there are lots of homeopathic remedies that can be used as substitute, or just use your facial soap just to soften up the hair bristles before you do the shaving. these products merely aid in the process of shaving but aren't really necessary, unless you are some metrosexual guy like the recent prof who left the department... oops. i'll shut up now. :P